The Bathroom
Sunday March 6, 2011 @ 06:35 PM
The bathroom is the only room in your house that doesn't have a clock. Think about it. It's the one place where time stands still. I can go in there and all I hear is the fan. No one to bother me. Some of my greatest thoughts transpire on the toilet or in the shower. And that lock is on the door to keep everyone out. What's that...the phone is ringing? Oh well, I can't get it cause I'm in the bathroom. Gas prices going up? Oh well, can't bother me in the bathroom. The bank is at the door looking for the mortgage payment? Sorry, I'm taking care of business in the bathroom. Real business. Let's face facts, the bathroom is the best room in the house.
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X-Games
Saturday January 29, 2011 @ 11:20 PM
I wondered what dudes who shred snow in the winter X-games get paid for their knarly activities. I thought they would get paid mucho dinero from their cutting edge sponsors. But I'm pretty sure they just get paid in totally tubular cases of Monster energy drinks supplemented with Mountain Dew. Peace out bro...let's face facts.
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Now that he's dead, he was great.
Friday January 21, 2011 @ 10:03 PM
I feel bad when people die. It's not something that anyone wants to think about. But yet the news loves talking about it, and we hear about murders, suicides, and just plain old death everyday. What's common in all of these situations? Well, the death will be followed by some shithead acquaintance of the deceased who claims that the dead man was the most beautiful person in the history of the universe. Then they find the one good thing the person did in their life and broadcast it over and over again. For some of the real fuckups, it's usually something lame like "He liked to laugh on sunny days." Bullshit.
You never hear someone talk about the dead and say, 'Well honestly, he was kind of a schmuck." Or, "Oh that guy, yeah what a prick." Nope, for some reason we lose all sense of honesty when people die. Why is this? Now don't get me wrong some people are good, and they deserve praise in their eulogies. But others really don't. I mean if Hitler died today, someone would be out there saying, "Well he had a rough childhood, but really he meant well. And he had a penchant for helping poor white children with blonde hair and blue eyes." Let's face facts, it's time we start being honest about people, even after they are dead.
You never hear someone talk about the dead and say, 'Well honestly, he was kind of a schmuck." Or, "Oh that guy, yeah what a prick." Nope, for some reason we lose all sense of honesty when people die. Why is this? Now don't get me wrong some people are good, and they deserve praise in their eulogies. But others really don't. I mean if Hitler died today, someone would be out there saying, "Well he had a rough childhood, but really he meant well. And he had a penchant for helping poor white children with blonde hair and blue eyes." Let's face facts, it's time we start being honest about people, even after they are dead.
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Happy New Year!
Tuesday January 4, 2011 @ 09:27 PM
Happy New Year!
Comments (4 )